Approaching Script Part 2

Who am I?

Me. My wife and just us. The life I live I live right now couldn’t be any worse to be honest. I love my wife to bits but the things she does is just, out of fitting. Wanting to go Greece to ‘buy’ a baby. Like seriously, what the fuck is she on about?

Already, I want to stop talking about her and more about myself. My name is Joe Grin but people and my used to be friends call me ‘MAN’. They say it’s because my voice is never heard when I’m with them and I know myself that’s true. My education when I was young, wasn’t that great. Being brought up in the rough part of Bristol I always knew there would be trouble. With girls, boys, shop keepers, managers of offices and all sorts. Especially the transport cunts. So yeah, my grades went from A’s, to B’s, to C’s then from there it was all about the double D’s. I was obsessed with sex and I didn’t care about fuck all. It was the life I lived. The calm life, with no one telling you shit and you getting on with your life.

Right now my job is cleaning at the local Travelodge. 4.60 an hour and that’s stress enough, mainly because in every room, there are stained sheets of tea, on the carpets there are dirty tissues with snot marks on each. Ah, I tell you, life is just horrible. I can’t stop complaining and I need to be heard, I’m opinionative about so much shit it’s unbelievable.

 My parents would take me to Church every Sunday but I never really got a feeling of the ‘spirit’ and I stopped when I reached 18. They were strong believers in Jesus and they believed if I was too, I would lead a good life. Maybe I should’ve listened to them. They’re dead anyways, what does it matter?

My likes and dislikes. I have nothing. I like my iron that irons my creased shirts. My wife usually does the ironing but I wouldn’t want to sound sexist or anything but yeah, she does it all! I dislike my life right now, even though I’m married, life is quite crap. I’m low on funds, no children, no Angelina Jolie as my wife just the woman I have now.

I’m 38 and pushing 40. My sperm ducts have soon died down and by then, no children means no new generation in my family tree, and what does that mean? I’ve let the whole fucking family down. My wife doesn’t want a child because she says the yearly costs of an average child is too much, she says she wants to have one that cost less. Maybe with one with disabilities or broken limbs she said. I couldn’t believe it when she said that, I was in complete shock, I was. 5”11, with a lean body weight, the sight of my rib cage showing through my skin sickens me and I know it’s time to start putting on weight but what’s putting on weight without eating fat foods and do I have the money for that? Nope, not an inch.

Lastly, I’ve already talked to you about my opinionative behaviour and that’s the worst thing about me. I always want what I see and I always want the last word. To be honest, I won’t be surprised if she left me for a rich snobby bastard that doesn’t know a thing but when you have money that cancels out everything doesn’t it? Back to what I was saying, my behaviour towards people largely depends on who I’m with. If I’m with the lads I’m more than happy to drink, get pissed and fornicate with a fit bird round the corner. Whereas if I’m with my wife, I try to control that side but if someone really gets to me while I’m with her then... that side releases itself like a murderer released from prison.

What is the present situation?

Well, what I came here to do… To spend quality time with my wife as I hardly see her and to just to have time to make love to her. Something she’s always been scared of doing. That’s why we’re here. To buy a baby. Right now I would love to go back to London to just carry on with my crazy life, being here in Greece is just crazier than my London life. The people want to sell you shit. You’re tempted to buy shit. Your wife spends all her money on shit. Everything in Greece is just complete shit.

My take on this whole thing would be to leave this country, try my best to get a business job right in central and be able to pay bills, tax, buy food and to pay for my wife’s hair to be changed once in a while. Right now, the situation we’re in is ridiculous to be honest. Here we are, buying food to bring back to London as it’s much cheaper to get a pack of spaghetti and a gallon of milk round here, never mind that, but to actually walk through an isle that sells babies is just fucking gobsmacking. Now when my wife told me she wanted to buy a baby, I was thinking, off to Greece to a clinic where we’d be donating money to get someone else’s baby who they had left for what reason or another. But to think we actually came to BUY a baby from a SUPERMARKET is just vile. Honestly, this is the worst ‘holiday’ of my life.

I’m tired of walking around, looking up and down for whatever. My neck is killing me and I wouldn’t mind grabbing a bag of chips from the freezer in isle 13 to cool my neck down and rest on it. My finger tips are freezing from all this nervous tension within the supermarket, it’s almost like it’s you versus the rest of Greece. Fucking hell, I wouldn’t mind a Cornish pasty round these parts either. Mentally, I’m drained from all of this thinking of why we’re here, why are there dead babies on shelves, why am I alive?! Emotionally I’m stressed and I could really do with loving from my wife, the one person I live for. I hardly speak to my family, my friends and whatever. Life is just a whole big blob of shit.

Where am I?

Being in the supermarket you would expect it to be full of people, especially in a supermarket like this where everything is low and Greece as a country is in debt so this would ideally be the place for people to shop but no, not at all, this supermarket is a fucking ghost town. The area around it itself is atrocious, the streets smell of cow manure, the sewers strongly stand out from the exotic fruits and even when you take a spoon full of the ‘beautiful’ Greek yoghurt, that taste like mayonnaise. It’s Autumn, 2010 and it’s still hot here. I feel sticky and hot headed that if someone was to ask me my name I would go ballistic and wouldn’t hesitate to punch them in their face.